i am actually looking forward to something that makes me truly happy : making greeting cards.

something as simple as that.

i feel like i live in a nutshell; feeling incapable of moving an inch cause i am afraid it might brake. this of course is only an illusion, everything is an illusion. my Fear especially.

today i felt weak; too weak to face anything; although i faced my Fear this morning as the D day approaches. i cried a little and then all seemed ... less terrifying. i did some yoga ( the only thing that really helps is yoga, always was yoga) and i wrote in my new notebook/diary but i feel stupid writing in it, so i try writing "positive thinking" stuff with some "wise quotes" here and there; then when a read what i wrote i wanna throw it in the trash. anyway, i thought it'd be a good idea to start a new notebook like that since i threw my old ones when i moved in with C four years ago, now that the need to write down feelings and thoughts has sprung again. 

guess i will come here from time to time; feels good to post random yet not so random stuff.